Regarding Improving Your Marriage

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert by John M. Gottman. Research based, it is my favorite book on how to repair a broken marriage.

Relationship Rescue: A Seven-Step Strategy for Reconnecting with Your Partner by Dr. Phil McGraw. Dr. Phil’s no nonsense approach to reconnecting with your partner is full of sound advice.

The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work by Terrence Real. Practical instructions for successful marriages in the twenty-first century.

Regarding Divorce

The Guys-Only Guide to Getting Over Divorce by Sam Buser & Glenn F. Sternes. Designed for both men who are beginning the divorce process or who have been divorced for awhile.  Full of practical advice to help you steer clear from trouble. 

Men on Divorce: The Other Side of the Story (Harvest Book)
by Penny Kaganoff & Susan Spano. A series of essays by men who describe their own experiences with divorce. 


If you are trying to select a divorce attorney

Selecting Your Divorce Lawyer: The Consumer's Guide for Harris Co. Texas by Peter Sperling. Good tips on what to look for and what to avoid in hiring a family attorney.


If you are trying to avoid going through a divorce


The Divorce Remedy: The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage
by Michele Weiner-Davis. Her “divorce-busting” approach has been widely popularized.

If you think divorce will “destroy” your kids

The Good Divorce: Keeping Your Family Together When Your Marriage Comes Apart by Constance Ahrons. Research based, it is a good counterweight to the predictions that divorce is always harmful to children.


If you are currently going through a divorce and you are concerned about the legal process, read:

Man's Guide to a Civilized Divorce: How to Divorce with Grace, a Little Class, and a Lot of Common Sense by Sam Margulies. Written by a divorce mediator, it is very helpful as you go through the actual divorce. 

Divorce Rules For Men: A Man to Man Guide for Managing Your Split and Saving Thousands by Martin M. Shenkman. More focused on the economic side of divorce. 


If you think that kids generally aren’t that negatively affected by divorce


The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, The: A 25 Year Landmark Study by Judith Wallerstein. Psychologist Wallerstein is much more negative about the effects of divorce on kids.


If you want the kids to read about divorce


Ages 3-7: 
Dinosaurs Divorce by Marc Brown & Laurie Krasny Brown.

It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce by Vicki Lansky.

I Don't Want to Talk About It by Jeanie Franz Ransom & Kathryn Kunz Finney.

Missing Rabbit by Roni Schotter & Cyd Moore. A good story for children who go “back and forth” between two homes. 


Ages 8-12:
When Mom and Dad Separate
Let's Talk About It: Divorce by Fred Rogers. Mr. Rogers offers calm, caring advice to children on divorce.


Ages: 13-18:
The Kid’s Guide to Divorce
The Boys and Girls Book About Divorce by Richard Gardner.

If you are worried about parental alienation, read: The International Handbook of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Conceptual, Clinical And Legal Considerations (American Series in Behavioral Science and Law) by Richard Gardner. His was the first book in the field, and it remains one of the best.

Regarding Male Depression:

If you think you might be depressed, read: The Pain Behind the Mask: Overcoming Masculine Depression by John Lynch & Christopher Kilmartin.

I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terrence Real. (1997). Another good book to help you understand about male depression.

Overcoming Depression One Step at a Time: The New Behavioral Activation Approach to Getting Your Life Back (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) by Michael E. Addis, M.E. & Christopher R. Martell. An excellent workbook to help you get going again. 

 

Regarding Anger:

If you have an anger problem, read: Anger Busting 101: The New ABC's for Angry Men & the Women Who Love Them by Newton Hightower. Practical, looks at anger as an addictive process.


Regarding Being a Man

If you want to understand more about men and masculinity, read: Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man by Sam Keen. (1992). A classic, it will make you think more about your own life.


Regarding Infidelity

If there has been infidelity in your marriage, read: Infidelity: A Survival Guide by Don-David Lusterman. Helpful in recovering from infidelity, regardless of whether or not you stay together.

After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful by Janis Abrahms Spring. Maybe the best book on the subject, but sometimes criticized for not being tough enough on the unfaithful partner. 

 

Regarding Sexuality

If you are trying to improve the sexuality in your relationship, read: Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships by David Schnarch. Not a how to book, rather it is about integrating emotional and sexual intimacy. 

If you have questions about male sexuality, read: The New Male Sexuality, Revised Edition by Bernie Zilbergeld. The authoritative source about male sexuality.


Regarding Parenting

If you want to learn more effective ways to parent your child, read:
The Parent's Handbook: Systematic Training for Effective Parenting by Don Dinkmeyer and Gary D. McKay. Practical, easy to follow advice on parenting children 6-12 years of age. Part of the S.T.E.P. Program (Systematic Training for Effective Parenting) Also available in Spanish.

For help with younger children, read their companion book: Parenting Young Children: Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (STEP) of Children Under Six

For help with teens, read their companion book: Parenting Teenagers: Systematic Training for Effective Parenting of Teens

Parenting Your Out-of-Control Teenager: 7 Steps to Reestablish Authority and Reclaim Love by Scott P. Sells. A clever, practical way to become more successful with your teen. 


For raising boys

Real Boys : Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood by William Pollack. A must read for parents of boys.


For raising girls

Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls by Mary Pipher. A must read for parents of girls.


For kids with attention problems

Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide for Parents (Revised Edition) by Russell A. Barkley. An indispensable guide to helping kids with attention problems.


For kids with difficult behavior problems

Defiant Children, Second Edition: A Clinician's Manual for Assessment and Parent Training by Russell A. Barkley